Christmas Present

The definition of ‘Christmassy’, it seems, is universally understood. My four-year old son came up to me today, declaring, “Mummy, I’m feeling Christmassy!” He’s probably overheard me saying the word to someone – I have actually already felt ‘Christmassy’ this year – but I know I’ve never explained to him what it means. I’ve never explained what ‘happy’ means, either – it’s not something that needs explaining – but ‘happy’ is a real word, a real emotion or feeling, or whatever you want to call it. I’m pretty sure no one’s ever said they’re feeling ‘Eastery’ or ‘Halloweeny’. Anyway, when he said he was feeling ‘Christmassy’, it made me smile.

My mum was the queen of ‘Christmassy’, and I’m beyond gutted that she never got to see my little boy, let alone watch his eyes sparkle when he talks about Rudolph and Father Christmas. Every year we put a little Christmas tree up on her grave, over the place where her heart would be. I’ll be toasting her with a glass of mulled wine with a slice of orange stuck on the rim later, and I’ll play that Johnny Mathis song she loved.

And talking about Christmas songs, I got ‘Whamageddoned’ on the third of this month – two whole days up on last year! The next song I heard was the John Lennon and Yoko Ono one, which I love, and which has never failed to make me cry – except this time the first line pissed me off a bit.

So this is Christmas/And what have you done? Well, if you’re reading this, you’ve survived another year of covid, of political mayhem, and disasters and heartbreaks on both macro and microcosmic scales. Sometimes it feels to me that the very act of living is just working my way through an endless list of tasks, the paper scrolling away to the horizon. The road is indeed long. And then sometimes, I get moments like today, when my little boy said he was feeling ‘Christmassy’.

Whatever you’ve been through this year, and whatever you do or don’t believe, I sincerely wish you merry times, and all the best for 2022…

And talking of 2022, here’s an early Christmas present we can share: Underrated, the third novel in the Glasshouse Series will be published by darkstroke in February!

Ring out, Solstice bells! Cheers!