What are we afraid of?
I was thinking about my day job, this morning. Somehow, we are getting less and less done, despite having all the mod cons, and a purpose-built, hi-spec building in which to work. We have regular training, and meetings, that we never used to have. We talk about well-being all the time, and – as far as I can see – we all feel worse. Why?
Can we really blame it all on Covid, red tape, and the ‘nanny’ state, or is there something else going on?
Anxiety is freedom. I understand that. We have choices, which means we’re free, yet choosing can be difficult.
The other day, there was a ‘red’ weather warning in the area of the UK in which I live, and everyone’s mobile phones suddenly went off like claxons to inform us of this, along with phrases like threat to life, and suggestions such as getting hold of a torch in case the power went out. The sound was frightening enough, let alone the big red message that appeared on the screen. Ostensibly, it was useful, sensible advice, conveyed in such a way that it would be hard to miss it. No one could say they hadn’t been told. (The UK government certainly couldn’t be held accountable if the livelihoods of residents in another Welsh town disappeared under water.) Yes, it got very windy, trees fell, roof tiles blew off, and there were power outages. But we were all very afraid before anything had even happened.
I think of one of my colleagues who totally freaked out because she had to drive into work through a bit of snow. (I don’t know why everything comes to a stand still in GB when it snows, what with us being a rich country, having lots of tech, and being used to seasonal changes. Why weren’t the gritters out on the hills overnight if all the snow was forecast? Why didn’t the schools have a contingency plan, so that kids could attend – even if – shock horror – they had to have sandwiches for lunch – so their parents could get to work so the country wasn’t brought to its knees? They manage to work in Toronto, when temperatures can dip to -40, for goodness sake!) I think of all the speed cameras: in the 90s, we had a certain level of freedom, but now, we can’t drive anywhere without being watched. We can’t be trusted. Is that it? And if so or if not, why?
I don’t understand it. If it really is all the Trumps and Musks of the world trying to control us and take our money, why? To what end? Humans can only live so long. Are these people broken, or mentally ill? Water, electricity … it could all be free, but someone chose to monetise it. Why? What’s the point of all this money?
It leads me to conspiracy theories: are we part of an experiment? Am I writing because humans are the world observing itself, highlighting the problems so those really in control could get it right next time? Again, why?
The logical next step is nihilism.
Yesterday, I drove to work anxious, angry. Yet the winter morning sky was spectacular, nihilism just wasn’t the right response. I pulled over to take photos. There’s beauty – spirit – something – definitely. It’s almost enough to have me believing in some kind of deity. Almost.
But I couldn’t think about it any longer – I had to get my son to school, and myself to work. I gazed over the kitchen table at K, who’d been playing a game on his tablet while I wrote. I thought I’d said it in my head – what are we afraid of? – but I must have said it out loud, because K looks up and says, “I don’t know – but I’ve got a Lamborghini!”
Out of the mouths of babes.
#Fear #work #society
Morwenna Blackwood, Author 